How Conflict Destroys Relationships with Women

Conflicts take a toll not only on your relationship but your physical and mental well-being too.

It is one of your major sources of stress. When neglected, it can damage your relationship. It can be painful and exhausting to go through, and since it happens for numerous and varying reasons, resolving it can be a challenge.

Most of the time, having a different point of view does not help resolve the conflict. The more you see things from your perspective, the less likely you understand each other.

Even though you have strong feelings for each other, not putting yourselves in each other’s shoes will keep you from having the kind of peace and calm you deserve.

Your Health When Going Through Conflicts

Researchers at Portland State University’s Institute on Aging found that constant exposure to negative social exchanges affects a person’s health. Prolonged and repetitive relationship conflicts lower a person’s self-rated health and expose them to several health conditions.

Simply put, a significant amount of stress can weaken you and your partner’s immune system. The longer you’re exposed, the more susceptible you become to infectious illnesses and other chronic body pains.

If you fail to manage your conflict and stress levels, you have a higher risk of developing the following conditions:

• acne
• alopecia
• anxiety
• cardiovascular diseases
• changes in libido
• depression
• diabetes
• digestive problems
• hyperthyroidism
• insomnia
• nervous exhaustion
• obesity
• tooth and gum disease

Broken Heart Syndrome

Heartbreaks physically hurt. Science says your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain. Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, commonly known as broken heart syndrome, is caused by intense and sudden emotional trauma or physical stress.

The pain of a person suffering from this disease is similar to that of having a heart attack. If you think you and your partner are both at risk for developing this syndrome, perhaps it’s time you practice healthier and better coping mechanisms in resolving your conflicts.

Damaging Conflict Patterns You Need to Know

High compatibility may mean lesser fights, but it does not guarantee you won’t ever have arguments.

Even though you have been together for a long time and have set up healthy boundaries, you are still bound to have disagreements. However, the minor the issue, the easier and faster it is for you to make up.

But if you constantly bicker over major issues that often remain unresolved, your relationship is likely to suffer irreparable damage in the long run.

Successfully navigating through a conflict is not easy. Because your emotions are all over the place, you will find yourself making warp judgments and hasty decisions. It’s hard to see each other eye to eye, causing you to fight in the same style over and over again.

Couples hardly notice that they keep on repeating their manner of arguing. In effect, they fight instead of addressing the issues at hand.

Randi Gunther, Ph.D., who worked with intimate couples for four decades, found a few prominent patterns in conflicts, and below are some of those that may happen in your relationship:

1. Snarky vs Unflappable

The judgmental partner starts by giving little sarcastic jabs to the impassive partner. The former will do anything to make the other respond and react, but these attacks don’t bother them even for a single bit.

2. Threat-marker vs Underdog

Sometimes, couples think that using threats as a part of conflict resolution helps. But that is not how it works. In truth, invalidating a partner’s capacity to affect a relationship in some way is wrong.

3. Shouter vs Silent Martyr

The dramatic shouter starts the conflict with drama. Often, they have a low frustration tolerance, making them the less capable partner when going through a conflict. By contrast, the person on the other end receives the attacks and criticism thrown at them without a word.

4. Pursuer vs Runner

The pursuer has a habit of nitpicking details and prolonging fights, even when unnecessary. On the other hand, runners are often calm and try to keep the peace by avoiding confrontations with the pursuer at all means.

5. Answer-Seeker vs Truth Dodger

The fight starts with one partner seeking explanations, reasons, comfort, and truth for something the other did. As a result, the receiving partner feels stalked and thrust back by giving vague answers with only half the truth in them.

6. Drama Queen/King vs Scoffer

The dramatic partner gives full-blown attacks. They are overly expressive of their emotions, while the other intends to expose the former’s real motive behind such a behavior.

7. Flipper vs Self-doubter

The flippers know that the best defense is an offense. When confronted by a question, they throw it back to their partner to put them on the spot. As expected, the conflict ends when the self-doubter claims to have been the cause of the problem and will make promises to change.

8. Dirty Figure vs Innocent Victim

One partner criticizes and demands a change from the other, while the latter secretly feel accused and willingly takes the role of the one who’s about to be punished.

9. Escalating Yellers

This kind of conflict may only involve simple disagreements but will escalate when both partners yell. In the end, the partner who yells the loudest wins.

Recognizing these conflict patterns helps promote a more productive and effective conflict resolution for your relationship.

How Conflicts Help Improve Your Relationship

According to relationship expert Terri Orbuch, Ph. D., “No problem is too small to acknowledge in a relationship.” She also further stated that sweating on the small things is always beneficial for couples and their relationships.

As bad as conflicts and arguments sound, they can also help improve your relationship.

How?

When you successfully go through a conflict with a positive outcome, it reduces your anxiety and stress levels. It also lowers the tension you feel when you’re in disagreement, thus increasing and deepening your bond with each other.

So don’t fear conflicts with your partner. Instead, take it as an opportunity to strengthen your connection and prove that you can always change for the better.